I really dislike this rollercoaster I have found myself on. I feel under attack, and torn apart, but I can't really even figure out why. I can think of plenty of reasons why I might feel this way, but before I seem to be able to grasp at the cause, it slips away, and I'm left as confused and hurt as before.
I've decided I need to get a better perspective on things, so I'm rereading the Bible from start to finish. I don't know if I've even ever managed to finish it all the way through before, but I need to do something.
So far, I've made it most of the way through Genesis, and for some reason thoughts and memories of my ex wife keep drifting into my mind. I know I screwed up that entire relationship long ago...
If this is going to be a teardown rebuild thing again, I just hope I'm strong enough to survive it. I'm already on my knees, but the blows keep coming...
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Pain, yes. Confusion, yes. Out of control, no. God is with you and is in control. Stay strong Brother. And keep the Faith.
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