Disgusted.

How easy it is to do right, when you have nothing left to lose.

And how difficult it can be to stick by your faith and beliefs, as soon as you have the least bit to lose by it.

I know what right looks like, and I know how it feels when I do wrong. Even gray areas, if you stop and look a bit closer, really are not. I simply can't seem to make the leap between knowing, and doing. Everyday I do a thousand things that go against what I believe and know to be right, and I am jealous, and in awe, of those who are strong enough, to simply live right.
What does it take, to cross that threshold, to move into the line of fire, and take the heat? Or is it even as bad as my mind makes it out to be?
I have no idea, because I'm to fearful to even take that step. I am disgusted by myself, to know better, to realize every little thing I do for what it is, but be unwilling to fix it.
I am the worst kind of coward. I have no problem fighting in wars, taking lives, flying about the earth in equipment built by the lowest bidder, but I am paralyzed to so much as stand up for my own beliefs.

How do you fix something like that?